Sunday, May 09, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!

I have to say that I dread Mother's Day. I really do. I know that the sentiment behind it is awesome, and I really do think mothers should be pampered. I'm happy for all my friends and family who are mothers and I try to do my best to extend that happiness toward them on their day. And, this is my first year with an official mother-in-law (though, I feel like I've been in her family from day one, which happened 2 years ago). So, there are lots of people to celebrate.

And yet, here I sit, struggling not to cry. I miss my mom. I can't say that enough, because it will never stop being true. I want one more Mother's Day with the best person I could possibly imagine. There is a piece of me missing now that she's gone and nothing will ever replace that. I've basically learned to live with the empty feeling, but on days like today, it's about all I can feel.

I often think about our future kids, and hope that Mother's Day will be a happy day for me once we have them. I'm sure it will be a mix of emotions, but I hope it's not always ruined. I don't want that, and I know my mom wouldn't want that.

And that's about all I can write without breaking down. Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful, wonderful mothers out there! Know that you are cherished and appreciated and so completely necessary in the lives of your children, no matter how old they are.

And to my mom, Happy Mother's Day, Mommy! I don't have words to tell you how much I love you and how important you are in my life. Always.

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