I'm learning that I'm much more comfortable divulging secrets on my blog than I am in my real life. Maybe I have a sense of comfort knowing that not many people (if any) read my blog. And word tends to spread quickly when you say something out loud, I've found.
In trying to keep things real on here (the tattered and crumpled part of the blog), I'm realizing my short-comings and faults, and admitting them. Here's today's: I often envy others' lives (or specific components of their lives.) I think this is probably a common characteristic of many people (especially people in my GottaHaveItNow! generation - the alternate name for Gen Y.) So, by admitting it, and realizing how much it is a part of my life and actions (and how bad it is for me), I can start to change it.
What brings this about, today? Well, I was driving in Omaha, off my normal path, at lunch today. I found myself in a neighborhood I love, and would have loved to live in at some point in my life. It's an older neighborhood, very historic, the houses are beautiful and just my style. As much as I love the neighborhood, I often feel sense of resentment when I'm there because I can't live there. People don't have cattle farms in the middle of cities.
Then I realized - what the heck am I jealous of? I have a house JUST like those houses. Built in the same time period, same style, same sense of history. The only thing I'm missing is neighbors living on top of each other, narrow streets, zero parking, tiny yards, and one of the busiest streets in town. Why did I want to live there so badly?
Don't get me wrong, I still admire the neighborhood. It's pretty awesome to have so many cute houses lined up next to each other. But, I have exactly what I've always wanted, just at another address (50 or 60 miles down the block) :)
Today was a good day for my War on Envy. I definitely won this battle. It's a really good, satisfying feeling. I think I'll keep fighting :)