Time

Time has almost no meaning for me these days! It's sort of crazy how it flies by, disappears so quickly, or drags on when I don't want it to. Anxiety and anticipation and stress and planning all seem to have taken over the reality of time and given me a whole new schedule lately.

A few weeks ago, Mike & I were talking one night and I said to him, "Something needs to change. We need something new to look forward to in our lives. I don't care what it is - a vacation, a new job, a new house...just something new." At the time, that statement seemed so overwhelming and impossible. Funds are tight and we already took a trip to Texas this summer, so vacation wasn't happening. Home searches are overwhelming, so we weren't going there. And we were both in good jobs, even if they didn't make us particularly happy.

I guess it's true what they say, be careful what you wish for. Fast forward to now. Mike has a new job {that he seems to like so far}, I won't have a job soon {so I'll need a new one}, and we have a new house {or we will in 33 days...eep!}

Holy. Crap.

On top of all that fun, Vogt Design Co. seems to have taken off a little and I've been busier than ever with orders. I love it. I'm thinking of new ways to expand my business and I couldn't be more thrilled to get them under way. At the same time though, it's so completely overwhelming. Do I really have enough confidence in myself to make a "real" business out of what I do? Not just a sad little Etsy store, but a business where people might actually want to buy what I make on a regular basis? Weird.

Oh, and did I mention that I decided back in September that I wanted to make the Christmas gifts I was giving this year? I decided I could supplement with things I purchased and I would obviously need to buy supplies to make things, but I was going to try to make the bulk of our gifts this year. Yeah, that couldn't have been worse timing! I'm still committed to the idea, but the projects have changed just a little.

So, like I said, time doesn't have a lot of meaning for me anymore. I work until I'm too exhausted to stay awake, and then I sleep. My alarm still goes off at 4:30am whether I went to bed at 8:30pm {like I'd prefer} tossed and turned all night because my mind won't shut off. I sleep where I can {normally in the car on the way to or from work} because every little bit helps. I work where I can, take entirely too many notes and make too many lists, and hope that my health holds out.

And no matter how much I think I can't do it anymore, the truth is, I can. I may yawn a bit more. I may be a bit attached to my iphone. I may depend on Mike to hold me up.

It will all get done, and I will enjoy doing it.